God has been my strength and support throughout the exhausting period of year-end exams, and I just want to share the amazing personal experience I had with God.
By God's grace, I have been doing well in my studies since young. I am in the gifted education programme and I take pride in my academics. In the previous post, Yiyun mentioned peer and societal pressure. I experience both of them regularly, only in a different sense. People expect me to be very smart when they hear I'm in the GEP, and there's competition and peer pressure in my class to out-do the others. So although it is good that I work hard to do well in school, it becomes very tiring and pointless sometimes when I forget the true purpose of studying: 为了荣耀上帝, and lose sight of God's grace when I focus too much on what people expect of me.
Without God in my life, everything becomes bland and pointless eventually. That's why I need God to give direction and purpose to my existance. Earlier on, when I asked God to please show me the way He has paved for me, I thought I had surrendered myself to Him. However, I didn’t realise that I was still foolishly clutching onto something that I should have completely committed to God. I was like the child whose hand was stuck in the vase just because I wouldn’t release the half-eaten lollipop I was clutching.
My recent exams had been pretty stressful, because I was under pressure to do well, to score as high as my friends, and to get grades good enough to get into special programmes in JC. I faced the uncertainty and fear that I would not do as well as I wanted to. And yet, in one of my toughest time, God has lovingly given me new hope, and He has reminded me that His grace is sufficient for me.
Through my daily devotion, God comforted me and assured me that He is there and will always be there for me. First, God spoke to me through Galatians 6:4-5, “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” There’s no need to compare ourselves with others, for God made each and every one of us unique, and has a different plan for each of us.
Next, God reassured me that I am destined to win with Him. I may encounter set-backs, but as long as I keep God’s word in my heart, be optimistic and have faith in Him, I’ll emerge victorious ultimately. 1 Corinthians 9:24 says, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” God didn’t say we have to be the best to be worthy of Him. The Bible said “Run in such a way as to get the prize”, instead of “Run to get the prize”, with greater emphasis on the process rather than the outcome. We don’t necessarily have to be the winner, but we must do our absolute best for God.
The following day’s devotion material was about fears. “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.” Psalm 118:6 is a very powerful verse and it spoke out strongly to me. By focusing on our fear, we create our own monster. The only way to destroy my fear is to turn to God. We fear, because we have no control over the situation. However, God is in control of everything and we are safely in His arms.
The very next day, I was directed to John 14:27, where Jesus said “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
I was also greatly encouraged by Philippians 4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!” I saw that the battle is the Lord’s. The beginning and the end and everything in between are all in His hands. He is my source and my strength; all things are possible with Him. I pray that God will take my weaknesses and make them strengths for His glory.
A few days later, the night before my Physics exam, God made everything come together to make sense. I realised that the reason why I have been struggling with all these stress, uncertainty, and fear is because I have not committed everything to God. I am still focusing on my own abilities, instead of what I can do through Christ. For God to reveal His divine purpose to me, I have to surrender myself completely to Him. I must trust in Him wholeheartedly, instead of leaning on my own understanding to pursue what I want to achieve.
1 comment:
yep totally understand what u said about wanting to get top grades and do as well as your classmates in sec sch etc. it's quite normal i think, especially in schs like NYGH and RV cos thats the school culture.
that was what i faced too - trying to measure up with my classmates and wanting to be the top achiever. Unfortunately i didnt see it as easily as you did and it took a hard bang on my head from God before i finally saw it. But thank God for waking me up to the fact that life is not just all about grades and achievements, but about learning to submit to Him because He has a higher purpose for me than what i had for myself.
"Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?" - Matthew 7:9. The same applies for our Heavenly Father's love for His beloved children =)
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